1993: Boot Camp, Part 1

In February of 1993, I went to Marine Corps Boot Camp. For the next 13 weeks, I would be sunburned and feel like a complete idiot. I proved that some of us will only change shades of red and not tan.

The first 3 days, you get placed into a "receiving platoon" and this is where they they break you down mentally all while being issued all your clothing, toiletries, etc.. You have the extreme pleasure of getting the roughest haircut you've ever had in your life, or will have.

The medical processes were downright hilarious, but my drill instructors and medical staff didn't appreciate my humor whatsoever. The one instance that has vividly stuck in my memory was when it was time for every man to get one last physical before going through training. They had us strip down into our skivvies/underwear, sit criss-cross-applesauce, in lines/formation, and knees needed to be touching the guy's lower back in front of you.

Needless to say, I was not digging this at all, and started to squirm a bit. We weren't allowed to move, scratch, close our eyes, lean, whatever, and I was just beside myself. I also could not stop laughing at how goofy this whole thing was and I laughed aloud a few times. The laughing and moving got me some "special" attention about 10 minutes into this medical thing.

Due to me having tattoos and being pale, I got the displeasure of being taken into a private room and grilled with questions. In the room were two drill instructors and a medical doctor. The drill instructors were yelling at me and calling me a racist cult member. They really wanted to know if I hated other races and/or did satanic rituals. Did I mention that all 3 in the room were black? When I went into boot camp, I left my past and was dedicated to opening my eyes/heart to other ethnicities.

The doc and drill instructors questioned me for about 30 minutes only 2-3 inches from my face. I remember the very first time that I felt another man's saliva hit my lip. Makes me shudder every time I think about it. I answered "no" to being racist or satanic and it really seemed like they wanted to break me, so either I went home, if I'd be compatible with the service and all of it's diversity. I don't know what the other cadets were doing during this time, but when I came out of there, I must have looked like I'd seen a ghost.

This event was the very first time I wondered what the bleep I had gotten myself into. I couldn't laugh, smile, move, scratch, or even talk. My anger level was reaching new heights with the constantly yelling drill instructors and I had to dig down to new depths to control myself. Laughing and being sarcastic with the DIs was not going to help me succeed.

For the first several days, I would have a crash course in self control and it was damn near impossible to stop my face from smirking when the DIs said something. I could see it was a game they played to strip us of our pride and bad learned behaviors. I spent quite a bit of time in the "pit" and eventually learned not to smirk of smart off.

To be continued.........

Jay

1992: Working, Marriage & Marine Corps, Part 2

The Marine Recruiter explained to me that the Army is always late and sucks at communication. He told me that I didn't want to join something like that. He asked me if work out and run at all. I told him that I lifted for many years, but I hadn't lifted much since I got married: I worked a lot and ate a lot--I was fat and happy. :)

He said, "You're not tough enough for my Marine Corps!" We both sat there silent after he said it and my temper started to boil. He told me that I probably couldn't do 3 pull-up, 5 sit-ups, and I'd fail their run. So, this guy was obviously trying to motivate me by challenging what I could and couldn't do. This was his hook, and it worked fairly well on me, because at was at a stage in my life where I didn't allow for myself to be "disrespected" or challenged to do something.

I decided not to answer him at all and he was intrigued by that. To this day, I still don't acknowledge, or react to someone provoking me. He said, "I see you're a quiet one, so how about you get on that pull-up bar over there and pump out more than 3; I bet you don't get past 1. What he didn't know was that I had been lifting weights since I was 11/12 and despite my extra weight and smoking, my back muscles were one of my strong points. At Gold's Gym, back in the day, my friends and I would do hanging pull-ups with weights strapped around our waist and compete. Okay, I'm done with the brag session, but I kind of laughed to myself, because I was going to love to pump them out with east to shut this guy up. :)

With all my heavy clothing and boots, I pumped out 20 pull-ups for this joker. When I hopped down, he was speechless, and responded with, "I bet you fail your timed run!" Again, I didn't respond, and told him to tell me the course I could run on. He scheduled me for a run the next day (I believe), and it snowed, and the sidewalks were icy on this course. I got about half a mile into this run and I was already dying. Not only did I not pace myself, I was "fat" and started to chaff, and my lungs from smoking and the cold air (air is dense and less oxygen is available) killed me. The proverbial wheels of my car were coming off and I was a hurting unit.

As I huffed and puffed crossing the finish line, the Marine Recruiter was shaking his head. I had failed the run portion by 2 minutes. It was at this point that I took a mental/personal note for myself: Medium distance running is nothing like the sprinting I had done from the age of 12-18. I would actually have to train for this 3 mile distance and it was very humbling. He said, "Well, your fat-ass failed the run by 2 minutes, but I think you'll pass the running test in Sacramento in a few weeks."

I ran as much as I could without hurting myself over the next couple of weeks and we drove down to Sacramento and I took the whole PFT (Physical Fitness Test: pull-ups, sit-ups, & 3-mile run). I noticed the difference being lower in elevation, but I was still pretty darn nervous about the run (I kept thinking about how I wished the run portion was 100-200 meter sprints). I got the highest scores possible on the pull-up and sit-ups which was really nice for the overall score. On the run, I paced myself better, the weather was about 65F, but about a mile into my run I had to crap. This was my worst nightmare knowing that I had 2 miles more to go and that I was about to have an "accident."

By God's grace, I "stomached" through the run while touching cloth, didn't crap myself, and passed the 3-mile run about 2 minutes under the max time allowed. Somehow, I had improved 4 minutes in two weeks and I thank God for sea-level. :)

1992: Working, Marriage & Marine Corps, Part 1

I've jumped 2 years in time from my last post and will briefly describe the happenings during this time period.

Mindy and I dated, got engaged (I hurt Mindy with how I did this :(), and we spent a lot of time getting to know each other and working.

Mindy continued to work two jobs, go to school, and hangout with me. I went from being a Park Ranger Aide (translated: Emptier of Trash Cans in local area parks and Bathroom Cleaner of those parks) to a supervisor of 30 personnel that would take inventory of all kinds of stores in off hours. You know, those people with a counting machine attached to their waste by a belt going around and counting everything.

I did well at the counting and computer work, so they put me on salary/staff and I led about 100 employees with their schedules, counting, and drove them to stores. Due to my computer capabilities and calm demeanor, I was the field and office manager at 20 years old. I did this for about a year and half and got really tired of the hours, time-frames, personnel, and low pay. Due to holidays and adding new stores, my staff made more money than I, because they were hourly and their overtime was really adding up. Signing employee checks that were higher than mine was an interesting time. :)

This was about the time that I started having dreams at night that I should inquire about seeing a military recruiter and see what was available to me. On a few occasions, I woke up out of a dead-sleep and sat up in bed sweating after having a "join the military" dream. If you had known me at the time, you would have told me I was crazy for even thinking about the military. I was overly anti-establishment and rebellious towards most, if not all, authority figures; let alone the government.

I shared a few of my military dreams to Mindy and she was surprised as well. A part of me was interested, because I saw my job and hers going nowhere and I wanted a chance to build a resume and learn some skills. By the way, there are other ways to do this, like finish college and internships, but I wasn't wanting to attend school any time, soon, like may never. :) Despite my rebellious outlook on life and unwillingness to finish school, inquiring about military options continued to be at the forefront of my dreams and thoughts.

Mindy and I were married for about 6 mos before the military thing got serious. I was working all hours of the night and didn't know if I was coming or going, most of the time. The time Mindy and I got together at our apartment, usually centered around eating some fast food at our place late at night. We were so very tired.

I eventually listened hard enough to the promptings to join the military and decided to meet with an Army recruiter. I went down to the recruiter on a freezing day, with my "punk rock" attire, rebellious attitude, and pulled on the recruiters door. It was locked, so I waited a bit for the recruiter to show up. Well, he didn't show up and I decided that I'd pace around and chain smoke for awhile.

As I was doing my usual pacing and mad-dog face, I looked in the direction of the Marine Corps recruiter's desk/office. He flagged me with his hand to get my attention, then we motioned me to come inside. I hesitated a bit, because I hadn't considered the Marine Corps, and I didn't like being hand-gestured to. :) I reluctantly entered the office and gave him a "what's up?" nod.

He asked if he could help me with something and I told him the Army recruiter didn't show up for our appointment. This is the exact moment where his "hook" started and the rest is history.

To be continued............

Jay

1990: Enter Mindy, Part 2

Mindy and I were pretty much inseparable on our time off, but we had some crazy busy schedules. We were both attending University of Reno, Nevada (UNR) and working. Occasionally, we would see each on campus and get a chance to say hi. She had some really nice and preppy friends, but I really didn't give them the time of day. Retrospectively, I was being judgmental and anti-social/mean in general (boo!).

I claimed that I was going to school (psychology major), but I was really sleeping in and missing labs/classes. I got put on warning, then suspension, then I managed to get expelled. I'll spare you all the details of me missing classes and arguing with teachers. Mindy, on the other hand, was a great student and I admired her consistency. Our very first argument was over her questioning me about if I was making it to class. I pretty much told her to be quiet and not worry about what I was doing. I was a treat.

I would go out to Mindy's house in Washoe Valley on Sundays. I'd have dinner with her family and watch some television. I noticed when we sat down for dinner, that by the time I had put salt and pepper on my food, they were pretty much finishing-up their plates. Her family raised pigs and had other animals roaming around their big back yard. I vividly remember as I drove my convertible red VW Rabbit, the cow manure stench as I drove the dirt roads in her neighborhood.

I was used to having the top down on my car, but once I started dating Mindy, the top went up, and that began my life of sweating in the car. She was cold on summer nights and just about anywhere, for that matter. My daughters are all the same way and often have goosebumps in the summer. I learned early on that Mindy would need a sweater and a blanket in the car if we were going anywhere.

We would often talk through the night about everything and our conversations evolved into us planning our future without consciously realizing it at first. Eventually, Mindy's Dad told her on the side that he didn't care much for me being at the house when he woke-up for work. That's where he drew the line. :)

Since I pretty much refused to hangout with Mindy and her friends (I know, boo!!!), Mindy would come and hangout with my friends. My friends were welcoming and nice to Mindy, but she got continually asked how the heck we ended up together. At that time of my life, I was wearing Doc Martin 14-hole boots, pegged pants, tanktop, leather jacket with studs/spikes/chains, and crazy hairdo. Mindy was dressed in pretty, classy stuff that looked very nice. My friends and hers could not see how we ended up even dating or talking. :)

Admittedly, I got tired of people asking us how it was possible for us to be dating, so I started ignoring, or being sarcastic with people that asked. We were NOT compatible by normal standards, but we made it work. She and I like totally different things and see things from completely different perspectives. If we had joined on online dating site, we would have never been matched.

1990: Enter Mindy, Part 1

On the 4th of July in 1990, I met a beautiful, bright, warm and smart girl. We were "setup" by friends to attend a 4th party. I almost didn't go, because my Mama was in the hospital with pneumonia. I visited my Mama and was completely down. I called my friend who invited me and told him that I wasn't sure if I was up for being social (not easy for me on my best days), and he just kept reiterating that I should have some fun, get away from the heavy stuff, and meet this Mindy girl.

I decided to go to the party and mope around, but it didn't take long before I was introduced to a girl with shining green eyes. She was perky, social, and I could tell that she was smart and opinionated. Back in the day, she'd be described as a "preppy" cheerleader type.

We chatted a bit while playing a board game (I can't stand board games) with the group and conversing with her was as smooth as silk. As the time came for fireworks, we piled in cars, and we ended up being together in the back of my friend's car chatting away. We continued chatting with ease and I had a question come to mind that I just had to ask her: "Do you believe in God?" She said she did and I was thrilled.

I discovered that night, as we sat on the grass, and blankets were handed out, that this girl was cold all the time. We sat next to each other, shared a blanket (I was so hot: temperature wise :)), but I kept it on me (the things we do for our girls). We kept talking at a nice pace and my time with her was becoming an organic/natural interaction.

We both needed to use the bathroom, so we went into the place, and I was tremendously blessed by what she did: she was waiting outside the door of the bathroom for me. I barely knew this girl and she already was showing signs of a girl with character; she made me feel so special when she did that. We went back outside and watched the fireworks together.



Jay

Welcome Aboard!

I haven't written much over the last year and I miss it. As I make posts, please feel welcomed to comment your thoughts and ideas. Thanks.

Jay