Expectations, Hope & Disappointment

A good deal of my heartaches have been self-inflicted over the years; one disappointment after another and a lot of self-pity. 

You ever build something up in your mind and when the "thing" happens, it's either different, or not "fun" at all? Think of birthdays, Christmas, job, ministry, relationships, college, and others, and consider how often it just didn't/doesn't add up.

For humans, disappointment starts at a very young age. Our natural inclination is to make a picture in our mind and then come to expect that picture to play out exactly. As we know, when the picture in our mind doesn't play out, we get disappointed. This is the beginning of a viscous cycle that ultimately leads to destructive thought patterns and behavior: self-pity, anger, resentment, depression, and discontent.

How often do we expect our spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend/parents/siblings to behave in a manner that we have magically scripted in our imagination? Does your husband do everything you think a man/husband should do in your relationship? Does your wife always agree with you and just love your ideas and philosophies? Does your husband always listen intently as you explain your day? Does your immediate family and family of origin behave perfectly and right in tune with your pretend fantasy of how a family "should" be? Is your Pastor always happy, encouraging, supporting, and loves all your ideas?

"We are setting ourselves up for disappointment if our hope is built on anything less than Jesus."

Shane Claiborne

Here's a list of insights that I have gained over the years:

1. If we look to people to affirm and approve us, they will let us down.
2. If we look to people to fill a void in our soul, they will let us down.
3. My pretend world has an imaginary script and I can't expect others to know it.
4. People will let you down.
5. I will let people down.
6. Grace is the only answer for everyone. Don't expect and be so hard on people.
7. Receive God's grace that covers my imperfections.
8. Give grace all of the time.
9. Re-read quote above.

Love ya,
Jay